Friday, October 20, 2006

Rebuilding From Attack - Infrastructure Shot - Radiation At Near Fatal Levels

The following is a message from the Mister Fanboy Directorate of Internal Services and Population Complacency Department:

The Mister Fanboy Headquarters, recently moved from our secret island location in the Eastern Pacific, to a non-descript celestial body, was attacked by alien raiders last week. The entire office complex in a non-descript strip mall on the aforementioned celestial body was destroyed, as was the Denny's at the far end of the space parking lot.

We are currently evacuating survivors. Our mainframe access is spotty. As such, communication from the Editorial Staff to you, our loyal readers, will likely begin in earnest early next week, assuming that damned flux capacitator comes in from the Degas-Miyazaki system on time and that Jose from Pep Boys arrives with a needed fuse (not to mention those dandy pine-scented air fresheners they have). Radiation levels are very high. The entire support staff has since perished, although due to the strange atmosphere many are showing signs of a "Lazarus Effect" and are exhibiting the beginnings of superpowers (except for Janice Suzi in payroll, she was such a bitch we jettisoned her into the sun - just in case). At this point our esteemed Internal Security Services are tracking down the culprits. Early intelligence indicates that the raiders are under the control of our mortal enemy, HP-HAL.

Be assured that the Mister Fanboy Staff diligently works to bring you the finest in mindless drivel to help you pass the workday quicker. We will be moving to a new secret headquarters soon. We hear Paradise Island is now vacant. Perhaps there. The staff is certainly not on Rigel-7 visiting the infamous Sin Biodome as was reported in other blogs early this week. Pray for us.

-- The Man


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