Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Screech Sex Tape And The Fall Of Western Civilization

In today's NY Daily News (so it's not the most trusted source in the world) it is reported that a sex tape starring Saved By the Bell's Screech is making it's way around Hollywood looking for a distributor. Apparently, it involves him and two women, is very graphic and involves the ever-infamous "dirty Sanchez."

In case you're too lazy to click on the above link, here's the excerpt:

Porn star's name may ring a 'Bell'
He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom "Saved by the Bell." But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.

Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.
We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a "Dirty Sanchez."

Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered some of Hollywood's biggest celebrity-skin deals, confirms that he's acquired the rights to a tape featuring Diamond.
"Just when you think you have seen everything in this business," he tells us, "mankind has raised the bar another notch. Or lowered it."

Schmidt is in L.A., shopping the tape to Hustler's Larry Flynt, Vivid's Steven Hirsch and other major distributors of adult video.

Now age 29, the 6-foot Diamond is much brawnier than you may remember him. He's a black belt in karate, and, four years ago, he defeated Ron Palillo (Horshack on "Welcome Back, Kotter") on Fox's "Celebrity Boxing 2."

Diamond's manager, Roger Paul, said his client has become a successful standup comic and will appear on the ABC sitcom "The Knights of Prosperity."

"I haven't seen the tape," Paul told us. "I've heard rumors. Dustin has been trying to escape the Screech typecast. So this may help me get more bookings."

In 1996, former "Saved by the Bell" sweetheart Elizabeth Berkley bared all in the Paul Verhoeven-Joe Eszterhas trashterpiece, "Show Girls."

The sex vid's working title is "Saved by the Smell." Ewwwww.

For those of you who live under a rock and don't know what a "Dirty Sanchez" is, follow this link.
This is on top of his cancelled benefit to save his house, which he reported was being taken away from him due to some shifty creditors. Hmmmm. Makes us wonder.

Won't someone please give this guy some attention. He clearly really, really needs it.


Blogger Tits McGee said...


I think I have to go take a hot shower now. Then bleach my eyes.

11:59 AM  
Blogger Fanboy said...

Figured you'd enjoy that - er-have that reaction.

3:15 PM  

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