We Are Not A Fan: David Blaine

Mister Fanboy's crack editorial staff (there I go with crack again) introduces a new feature on our site. We Are Not A Fan highlights things that we don't like, or suck if you will. It was a difficult decision, but once David Blaine entered the conversation, we all knew we could agree on hating him.

Why do we hate him? Oh, let me count the ways! One, he's a magician and they usually suck. Not always, just usually. Is Blaine a magician or an illusionist? You say toe-may-toe and I say toe-maw-toe.

Two, his shameless attempts at self-promotion, though admirable are lame and probably resonate only with those under 12 years old,

people with kinfolk,

the AARP set, or folks who think dressing up as a druid is cool outside of a ComicCon convention. I mean really, who cares about him?

Three, we like underwater exploits and do not appreciate his ruining them for us. SCUBA diving is great; here's hoping his regulator fails. So he's been in the fishbowl there for about 7 days. He gets out tonight. CNN reported today that he was experiencing excruciating pain. Awww how sad. I wonder how much of that is true and how much is for PR and the likes of tabloids. Let's hope they place a predator in there with him. Perhaps, Carmen Electra needs a job.

Previously, Blaine was suspended over the river Thames in a box for 44 days, causing traffic nightmares because of onlookers. Tying up traffic must be a good way to generate good will with the public. He was also buried alive for 7 days - what went wrong? Shouldn't the air hose have gotten "pinched" by someone? He lived in ice too for 60+ hours.

Who cares. Boring! So let's all raise our glasses to David Blaine and tell him to "GO AWAY!"