Mister Fanboy Movies' Prayer for Michael Bay's Death

Against our better judgement, we went to see the Transformers movie this weekend. Why against our better judgement, you ask? Because it was directed by Michael "Hack" Bay. This is the man who was not only responsible for the train wreck that was Armageddon, but with Pearl Harbor. So let's just get this out of the way. The movie sucked. It sucked so bad that at least 1/4 of the people walked out of the movie. We shit you not. And we don't mean sucked in a Spider-Man 3 kind of way. We mean sucked in a Bad Boys II kind of way (oh wait, that was also directed by Bay). The very best things about the movie? One, the trailer for the upcoming Simpsons Movie. If you've seen it, the Spider-Pig bit cracked me up? But why not Spider-Ham (copyright issue, perhaps)? Second, great thing about the movie: We saw it up in Arcata, CA at the Minor Theater, the longest continuously operating movie theater in the US during a last minute escape from 116 degree temperatures and embrace of the redwoods and the Humboldt Nation. We'll have pictures for you in a few days. It was an awesome escape.

The movie was so bad that we choose not to relive it by telling you why. It's entirely too painful. Therefore, we ask all of you to kindly pray for the end to Michael Bay's career. He took something that should have been good and ruined it. Much like George Bush, Jr. has taken the reputation of the United States and basically pissed upon it. Chew on that for a bit.

Finally, we want to apologize for our infrequent postings. We just got a DVR and haven't yet learned restraint. We'll be posting about our upcoming trip to Comic-Con soon, and maybe we can meet up with some of our readers. Ciao.

Mister Fanboy Movies Mini Haiku Review: Breach

Today, Mister Fanboy is pretty much just phoning in a review of Breach, starring Chris Cooper, Ryan Phillippe, and Laura Linney, which opened this past weekend. It is based on the story of Robert Hansen, an FBI agent who was caught selling U.S. state secrets to the Soviets and then Russians. True story: We once lived 3 blocks from the park where he was caught making the drops.

Agent sells secrets

Cooper great, Linney annoys

Phillippe good; go see